Wednesday, January 19, 2011

BAWLS Guarana: Cherry

Brand: BAWLS Guarana
Flavor: Cherry

Caffeine Content: 103mg

Other Notable Ingredients:

Calorie count per serving: 90
Serving size: 8oz. (or half of the 16oz. can)




Now, to be fair to BAWLS (yes, I intend to fully capitalize it throughout the review), they do market this as a highly-caffeinated guarana soda, so the presence of HFCS shouldn't come as that much of a surprise, nor should the lack of B vitamins or other supplements. That said, I'm going to review this for what it is on its own merits, not as a typical energy drink.

Original BAWLS has, honestly, always been a favorite of mine, so when ThinkGeek ran out of the blue BAWLS (go ahead, get the giggle out of your system) and the Exxtra, I decided to go ahead and jump right in with the cherry for the first time ever.

First impression: This stuff tastes kind of like the old-school cherry 7Up. Not that Anti-oxidant stuff; I haven't actually tried that version yet (which should tell you how long it's been since I've had a cherry 7Up since I don't think they make it without the anti-oxidants anymore). No, this is like the stuff from my childhood, which is a point in its favor; the only problem is that it's slightly blander than the 7Up version. I've had friends compare it more to the Luden's cherry cough drops (you know, the good kind that came in a box and always stuck together but tasted just like candy), so as with anything, YMMV. It's relatively sweet, it's smooth, it goes down easy (provided you like cherry), and is still unmistakably BAWLS-y. (See what I did there? See? ...No, I'm not proud of myself.)

It is, however, colorless, which oddly disappointed me. I don't know why I expected it to be red inside, but it was kind of a let-down when it came out clear. That's just a side-note, though, and isn't going to impact its rating.

Flavor Rating: 4/5 For a soda, particularly one that's got the evil HFCS in it, it could have been a little bit sweeter with a bit more tang to highlight the cherry flavor.

Energy-wise, it definitely gave me a boost that lasted a good few hours; however (likely due to the lack of other supplements and the presence of the HFCS), I did wind up crashing afterward. It sustains, sustains, sustains...then very abruptly, it does not. I had to take an energy shot to get through the last hour of work and the commute home, which is never a good thing. I knocked back the entire 16oz can at around 11am and by 3:30/4pm was popping the energy shot, so there's that.

Energy Rating: 4/5 I honestly expected it to last longer.

Side-effect Rating: 3.5/5 The crash was unpleasant.

Overall Rating: ~3.8/5


Monster Energy Extra Strength (Nitrous Technology): Anti Gravity

Brand: Monster Energy
Variety: Extra-Strength Nitrous Technology
Flavor: Anti-Gravity

Caffeine Energy Content: 5000mg (actual caffeine content not specified)

Other Key Ingredients:

Calorie count per serving: 160
Serving size: one 12oz. can




To begin with, this little can (and it is little compared to other Monster cans) is supposedly injected with Nitrous Oxide to give it a bonus kick (which is likely why the can is very reminiscent of a can of nitro). The reality of the situation, however, is you're not really drinking laughing gas. They've made it with carbonated and nitrogenated water, which really just makes it fizzier and gives it an interesting little swirly smoky effect when you pop the top.

That being said, this little can packs quite a punch.

Over the years, my body has built up something of a tolerance to caffeine, so that I can drink a bottle of Bawls (that review will come later) and then go right to bed and sleep the whole night straight through. This little beast, however, is another story. I drank this bad boy at 3pm during the workday to power me through to 5 o'clock. I had a bag of pretzels with it. No big deal, right?

The burst of energy hit me like a friggin' train. I wouldn't say I was wired, and I certainly wasn't jittery, but I was going.

And going.

And going.

Until 3 in the morning.

Granted, had I actually eaten something I might have saved myselfthe trouble, but I did hit the gym after work for an hour and was still ready to roll afterward. Also on the upside, I absolutely learned the proper way to PvP as a warlock in WoW because I was pwning n00bs in ways I don't think they've invented yet...and I suck at PvP.

When it finally did wear off, there wasn't a crash, surprisingly. There was a perfectly natural feeling of sleepiness (honestly, to be expected at 3am after working a 9-5, I think), and I slept through the night just fine, a solid 8 hours. (Thank goodness I pulled this on a Friday or my boss would have killed me).

So, energy wise? This is a solid little product.

Energy Rating: 5/5

Now as for the flavor, it's this neat little tropical citrus flavor that goes down nice and smooth. It doesn't have that odd chalky taste to it that the regular Monster products have, which is nice. It's actually a bit tangy and sour and reminds me more of a regular soda than an energy drink. The only downside to it is that it is gassy. Seriously, it may not give you gas, but there's a good shot you might end up with digestive issues by the end of the day or possibly the next morning. It's not a serious thing, and it does eventually wear off (provided you're not chasing a can of this with another can of this), but it can result in some discomfort in the bathroom.

Hey, I tell it like it is. Be glad I'm not being more graphic.

Flavor Rating: 5/5

Side-effect Rating: 4/5 (because no one particularly enjoys being stuck in the bathroom)


Overall Rating: ~4.7/5